ALL ABOUT US

   -Intern Maria Conchita Esperanza Gonzales

Maria joined our intern staff about two years ago,which is strange, seeing how this is our first "publication".  She is rood to all and never in a good mood.Her plethora ofdisgusting jokes makes her our favorite.  What can we say?

    LIKES-writing complaint letters, manufacturing explosives,andbeating people whoask to many questions

    DISLIKES-dresses, happy people, and anything 80's.

    FAVORITE BANDS-Emil and the Teflon Parakeets, Tool, Prodigy, and older Metallica

Quote-"Huh? Well I'll be damned."

    -Intern Billy

Billy has no personality. But you can kcik him around alot, so we let him stay.  He lives rent-free in the broom closet.  Who say's we don't treat our inters well?

LIKES- Muzac, Bonelss skinless chicken, and the color gray.

DISLIKES- Nothing, He does however, posses a strange sort of apathy we find appealing.

FAVORITE BANDS- He wandered off in search of some rich, chocolatey Ovaltine before we got to that.

QUOTE- " I like Rice".

    -Inter What's-his-name

We actually don't know this dudes real name. He followed Alexis home one day and she kept him. We like to call him "you there" or "Hey, dumbass!". I'm thinking of naming him Skippy.

LIKES- food, shelter, clothing, and cable.

DISLIKES- Bad stuff.

FAVORITE BANDS-Whoever wrote "Row, row, row your boat"

QUOTE= "Something from the meat counter Linda?"

   -John W. Abbadon

He's our "reporter"..... or at least the closest approzimation available withi current parameters.  He's just plain scary.... Something about the name?

LIKES- Goats, Maria Conchita Esperanza Gonzales, and blankness.

DISLIKES- Puppies, kittens and daisies.

FAVORITE BANDS- no.

QUOTE- "Go away"

   -THE LUNCHLADY

The closest thing we have to "Dear Abby", her real name is Gertrude. Or so she sais. We really like the plastic gloves and hairnet.

LIKES- preparing food, serving food, and giving advice.

DISLIKES- people who don't clean their plates.

FAVORITE BANDS- Kool & the Gang and Iggy Pop.

QUOTE- "More goulash, kids?"

   -TIJIUANA

She was actually trying to kill us for awhile.  Restraining orders didn't work, and she bit all the guard dogs, so we gave her the job of taking pictures and bought her some Prozac. Even though She Still stalks people, we think she's coming a long way on the road to mental insanity.

LIKES-Nothing

DISLIKES- everyone/everything she sees.

FAVORITE BANDS - Jewel and Hanson.

QUOTE- "Bitter?  I'll show you bitter!"

   -LADY AGATHA

By day a hairdresser, at night she becomes The Amazing Agatha : Psychic Extraordinare.

LIKES- crystal balls, broom sticks, and the Braun Hair Columizer 2000

DISLIKES- tailgaters and bad karma.

FAVORITE BANDS- Garth Brooks and Lee Ann Rimes.

QUOTE= "Lifeless devil, come out!"

       CO-EDITOR ALEXIS

This hapy go lucky extnovent (yeah, right) is in essence a slacker.   I'm scared of her at times, but she is a true genius...at what really matters.

LIKES-The Elephant Man, cemeteries (Go Pere Lachaise!), Tim Burton movies, Steven King, The Sandman, stalking Eddie Vedder (Whay don;t you answer my letters?), and the art stylings of Dave McKean.

DISLIKES- cheerleaders, Jimmy Buffet, and werewolves.

FAVORITE BANDS-STP , Midnight oil, The Cure, Smashing Pumpkins, (\)I(/), The Doors, Live, and Beck.

QUOTE-"You can indeed become lost in dreams. And you may not always find yourself when you wake up." (Dream)

   CO-EDITOR JENNIFER

I'd tell you about my absolute, perfectuin, but well, then I'd Be lying, wouldn't I?  My perfection isn't absolute...more...oh, nevermind.

LIKES- Professional wrestling (go SteveAustin!), Sandman, The Crow and Chee-tos.

DISLIKES- Logis, Lynette Jennings, and those commie pig-dogs

FAVORITE BANDS- Wycleff Jean, Beastie Boys, Squirrel Nut Zippers, Nirvana, Rage Against the Machine and SOUL COUGHING

QUOTE- "Contrariwise, " continues Tweedledee,"if it was so, it might be, and it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it aint, That's Logic." (Lewis Carrol)

AN INSPIRATIONAL THOUGHT FROM US TO YOU, ON THIS, YOUR VERY MERRY UNBIRTHDAY:

To be nobody but yourself which is doing it's best night and day to make you everybody means to fight the hardest battle which and human fight, and never stop fighting.

- E.E Cummings